Peace-Making

We resolve family conflict without war. Yes, even the hateful and vindictive conflicts can be resolved without warfare.

The Practice of Peace-Making

We resolve conflict by focusing on nurturing the family's well being, yours, the children's and your spouse's. We have focused upon and learned about family conflict resolution since 1974. Some of what we have learned is unique, such as Peace-Making Mediation, the Aikido defense*, informal collaboration, our Truce Agreement, self help arbitration and Peace-Making, a course in transforming relationship.

*The Aikido defense is a method of joining with attacking energy and deflecting its direction so that it harms neither you nor the attacker. It leads to both winning by an ending of attack without injury. Nonviolent Communication, the Aikido defense and Gandhi's nonviolent resistance shares an ability to cause abandonment of the mistaken belief that attack and destruction can create a life supporting decision.

We are avid about knowing, disclosing and using the truth of what is so, as a foundation for resolution in every method of resolution we use.

We don't punish anyone, especially not your children's other parent. Your children need you both. Supporting you both in nurturing your children's lives is what we do best.

All of our skills recognize that conflict is driven by fear and pain caused by what Gandhi first recognized as the subtle violence of defensiveness, criticism, contempt and withdrawal. Click here to learn how to transform your relationship, to avoid divorce, to help reduce the trauma and expense of divorce or to repair your relationship to a working relationship after divorce.

Skilled intervention can dissolve conflict gently and fairly. This offers a range of results from ex-spouses jointly raising their children, transition to non-intimate members of one extended family, to friends respecting each other and cooperating with joint holidays, birthdays and your children's celebrations, to two transformed lovers practicing new skills that share the emotional gratification and joy that their courtship promised, but could not previously give them.

The Traditional Practice of Law

Attorneys are trained in a system of law and trial that deals with conflict. Most attorneys view their service as helping clients deal with conflict by doing the preparation required for the court to resolve the conflict.

Without skilled intervention conflicts end in the common experience of divorceBdestruction of emotional and financial resources, permanent injury and limitation for young children, permanent dysfunction in the extended family, and for some permanent combat in an unresolved family war that neither combatant will put down, until death inters the old grudges. Peace need not mean death, but one can make that set of choices.

We Are All Awash in Our Sixty Year Tidal Wave of Divorce.

We share common aspirations with the people living in all developed countries. For the people in all developed countries the divorce rate went from less than five percent to fifty percent in the 1950s and has remained at fifty percent. People living in these countries have decided not to live in painful, emotionally barren relationships that are characterized by competition and by one controlling or dominating the other. This decision leads to divorce. We lack the skills essential to co-creating joint partnership agreements that nurture and sustain both. Until we learn those skills, we cannot live together as equal partners.

Relationship Transformation Repairs and Sustains Relationships.

We have developed Relationship Transformation to help repair and to sustain relationships. We use lawyers and counselors trained in Nonviolent Communication to help stop the immediate injury, while we teach clients the missing skills, Nonviolent Communication, Conscious Awareness and Psychological Development. Some transform their existing relationship, and others replace their old relationship, starting over with new partners. The good news is that the emotional gratification and joy found in courting can be savored for a life time. To learn more go to www.relationshiptransformation.com.

Click here for more information about Peace-Making as a process.

We Help You Find How To Nurture Yourself and Everyone Involved with You.

Our Goal is to help you protect yourself, your spouse, and your children from the emotional and financial injury common to separation and divorce. We want to help you gain, understand and use power to nurture your life and to create emotionally gratifying, contributions that nurture you, your partner, your children, your extended family and all life.

We Can Serve You as Neutrals, Or We Can Represent You.

We practice as both neutrals doing mediation, arbitration or teaching Peace-Making skills and as representatives in the traditional lawyer's role.

As neutrals, we consult with both of you. We do this both for couples already represented and in the middle of preparing for trial and for couples who come to us directly, before filing anything.

As representatives, we respond to lawsuits and help resolve them peacefully, fairly and economically. If needed, we represent you in court with more than 30 years experience in disclosing the truth and getting fair decisions.

Any and All Conflicts Can Be Resolved Peacefully.

We resolve any conflict, even with the spouse that has Agone crazy@ intentionally behaving contemptuously, vindictively and destructively. We enjoy serving all our clients in resolving conflicts. We especially enjoy the challenge of the more difficult cases, because they require extending our skills to their limits.

We Promise to Serve You With Insight.

We promise you, if you allow us the pleasure of helping you, we will apply the insight, wisdom and requirements of the law and the Peace-Making insight we have developed. We promise to prepare all of the documents needed to preserve and enforce your resolution. And, if you wish, we will guide you in learning how to savor emotional gratification in all your relationships and resolve any future dispute peacefully.