About Mediation
There are three forms of mediation. Because the purposes and designs of these mediations are so different, it is essential that you understand and select with us, a suitable form of mediation. Each type of mediation is a guided discussion shaped around its assumptions. Each leads to a different conclusion.
Problem Solving Mediation: The term mediation usually means problem solving mediation. Virtually all mediators conceive of conflict as a problem to be solved and conduct problem solving mediation. It focuses on distribution of assets and cash flow. It efficiently uses the participants direct knowledge of facts, so you don’t pay attorneys to determine them. It is best done with an independent attorney providing the “community standard of fairness.” See Using Attorneys or Creating Your Mediation for more information about the “community standard of fairness.”
Problem Solving Mediation, like courts, limits its focus to the business of fairly distributed assets and cash flow. It does not try to help you understand or resolve the emotional dispute, the misconceptions creating it or the story holding it. When you have a continuing relationship as parents of children, problem solving mediation doesn’t try to and cannot help you resolve the upset with the other parent. It leaves you in two households with your conflict, just as a court does.
Transformational Mediation recognizes a confusion of thinking and emotional energy as the source of the conflict underneath all of the verbiage. We lend you our skills to understand, express and communicate your and your spouse’s emotions described in feeling and needs. Through this process your relationship transforms from fearful, critical emotions– anger, contempt, disgust, hatred, anxiety, fear and pain to understanding and empathy. What results is a cooperative resolution both support.
At Peace-Making a fully resolved conflict means the misconceptions of separation creating it, the emotions driving it, the story holding it, and the problems created by it, have been resolved. A fully resolved conflict does not return, because nothing remains to return. Anything less than a fully resolved conflict, holds the unskilled habits that will invite it back.
Mediation Class meets weekly with several couples wanting to transform their painful arguments into understanding and compassion. This class helps you dissolve painful disputes and reduce your tensions in an inexpensive way, while you learn Peace-Making skills. See Mediation Class for more information.
To read through the Web Site as designed see Creating Your Mediation. See How Mediation Works to understand its intricacies. See Complex Issues for information about how mediation deals with them. See Create Your Mediation to learn how to do that. See Resolution Without Trial to review how to assure you avoid trial. See the Mediation Contract to review its terms. See Safety and Protection to learn how to we create physical and legal safety.